Being that my morning and evening commutes are each a solid hour long, I have plenty of time to read or goof off on my new phone. The other night I chose to do the latter, testing out the Huffington Post app for Android, when the following headline stopped me mid-scroll flick.
Sarah Silverman: Jimmy Kimmel Never Called Me Pretty
I read it a couple of times, mouthing the words to help my mind comprehend what my eyes were seeing. Umm, what?! My mind flashed back to her lovely GAP campaign; below was her, cute as ever, from her Page Six Magazine cover. The article goes on to preview her interview with the magazine, in which she says about her new beau, Alec Sulkin, “I think he’s the first guy in a decade who’s given me any kind of compliment, like saying I’m pretty or anything.” My shock wore off, because right then, I knew exactly what she was talking about.
My Freshman year of college, I dated a guy who lived not far from my dorm. During the 8 months we were together, I cannot recall a single time he called me cute, pretty, or my personal favorite, smart. He never said anything mean, but he never really said anything nice to me, about me. It only became clear to me after we had broken up that his lack of compliments was his fear of me realizing I was out of his league. Though we were both 18, I was attending a top university and he was still in high school. I had a seasonal job with decent pay and he was bumming allowance off Mom and Dad. I was a curvy, young woman and he still looked like a 14 year old boy. I didn’t hold these things against him. I liked him because he was fun and lived a stone’s throw from campus. But apparently, the more “successful” he felt I became, the less I saw of him until he ultimately dumped me for a younger girl. I found out he had been cheating on me with her via his Xanga, in which he called her cute and pretty many times.
Now at 24, I don’t want a guy who’s afraid to pay me a compliment because I may get big-headed. Compliment me. Celebrate my triumphs with me. Be proud that a wonderful woman chose you out of the myriad of dudes out there. If you can wake up with drool stained cheeks and I still call you cute, you can catch me blushing and call me pretty.
And my gentleman fellow does…
Wow.. is that what that was? I was on the other side of this scenario in my relationship with my ex. Now don’t get me wrong, Its not that I didn’t think I was cute or fly enough to be with my ex but I was annoyed that everyone stayed in her face telling her she was oh soo cute, but I guess thats what you get when you date Ms. Popularity. She was caption of the basketball team at our college, she won homecoming queen, she was on the promotional 18 wheeler truck and the school catalog..oh and not to mention the 2 billboards. Everyone always told her how cute and fine she was, I figured she knew and I never did tell her she was cute. Not once out of our 3 year relationship that I can remember. I just always thought she knew. Not long after our break up did i realize what a big mistake that was…
wow…its amazing when you begin to hear stories such as what you’ve vivid shared…Growing up, it was difficult for me to compliment women that I was once involved with…Actually, as a youth, i would bother young girls who i like instead of complimenting them as i had difficulty verbalizing my affection toward them…Most men today are unable to express their true feelings to a woman because many of them have been hurt by women. Truth be told, most men have been victimized by their own mothers and grandmothers which creates problems for these men whenever they become involved in female/male relationships. Yes, women do mature faster than men as most men are unable to have healthy, sustaining relationships.
A man should be able to compliment his female partner that he loves and adores. Compliments goes a long way within relationships as its important to build and assure your partner.