Brunch is the best meal of the day. Bloody Marys and mimosas aside, ladies brunch for one reason only… the chisme! The setup is completely familiar and often involves a story about a guy. One of your girlfriends regales the table with the tale, everyone is nodding, inhaling “What?!” and exhaling, “Mmhmm”. The antagonist is on the receiving end of so much side-eye one would think he was sitting at the next table. Let’s pretend we’re at brunch and I’m telling this over Eggs Norwegian. Yum!
Act II. Jeff. Age Unknown. Occupation Unknown.
I met Jeff at my friend Amanda’s houseparty. When I arrived, he and Amanda were talking with a few other friends. Their closeness implied that they were together; maybe not boyfriend and girlfriend, but definitely more than casual old friends. Amanda, upon seeing me, greets me with a big hello and shows me where everyone is leaving their coats before scooting off to continue entertaining her guests. Then she disappears. Enter Jeff.
He introduces himself by name and then asks me how I heard about the party. Read: Do you know Amanda? I tell him Amanda and I are friends, meeting years ago when I was a freelance make-up artist. He suggests we swap information being that he’s working on a few projects and may need make-up. I didn’t feel he wasn’t flirting with or coming on to me at all, but something just didn’t feel right about this guy. “Sure, I’m always interested in hearing who needs make-up. My number is…” and I proceed to give him the Google Voice.
A few days later, while I’m on the phone with a newly 20 year old Jared (see Newborn entry), Jeff calls and leaves a voicemail message. Yes, I sent him to voicemail. Jeff was business and though I was looking to get back into doing make-up again, Jared was fun. In this instance, Fun beat the snot out of Business. “Hey, Kim! I was calling to see what you were doing this weekend. Um, when you get this, I guess you can give me a call back.” I return the call later that day, “I’m free this weekend. Is someone looking for make-up?” Little did I know, that call wasn’t about a shoot, make-up, or anything business related. “No. I was wondering if you’d like to get together for coffee or something.” It was the “or something” that didn’t sit well with me. I call one of my best friends (who originally introduced me to Amanda) to get the scoop on this Jeff.
“What’s the deal with Jeff?”
“He and Amanda and dating. Why?”
“He called me just now and asked if I wanted to meet up for coffee or something.”
“No way! Does he know you’re friends with Amanda? They are seeing each other. I don’t know if they’ve had The Talk, but they are definitely seeing each other.”
My friend suggests she tell Amanda being that she knows her better than I do and thank goodness she did. Amanda was pretty upset and embarrassed about the whole situation. Understandably so… your date tries to pick up one of your friends they meet at your party in your house? Trife. Did he think she wouldn’t find out? Did he not care? Whatever his thinking, or lack of, was doesn’t matter to me. He’s going to need a pretty strong make-up remover to get rid of the egg all over his face.
Cupid's Eros: in like. in lust. in love 
Well I for one am the “gotta let you know” type. She if I was at my boys house chilling and his shorty rolled up on me, he’d get the call the next day. I guess for me it’s a just the way I am. That convo would be something along the line like this.
ME: Hey what’s up “so an so”, last weeks party was a blast, I had this shorty push up on me, and wanted to get the scoop on her.
Homie: yeah man, glad you came through, we going to do another party next month! So…What shorty you talking bout?
Me: Ah shorty that was chatting with you when I walked in, she was rocking (whatever she was wearing goes here). She kept stopping by me through out the night and she approached me when I went to grab my jacket before leaving. Shorty started asking me questions like who did I know here and what I did. When I told her I was a producer, she told me she was a make up artist. So she offered me her number, and told me when ever I needed a make up artist to holler,so I gave her mine as well. She called me yesterday, on some lets gets some coffee vibe. So I’m trying to find out if shorty the crazy type or what.
See after a real talk like that my boy would be faced with the fact his shorty is a smut, and that I’m letting him know on the sly. No need for confrontation, that I’m trying to steal his girl.